What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

What do you mean son?

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

What do porn stars do when they get old?

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

True - how I loved my mum!

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What! how could you do that?

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

Do you know what she said mum?

How long can a marriage survive after a long-term affair?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

Why do guys on dating apps often just first message "hey" or "hey how are you" instead of being more creative and unique? How do they think being a copycat will stand out?

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

What is truer than that which is true?

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”